Jennifer Wilcox - Rahab's Heart

Jennifer Wilcox is the Founder and Managing Director of Rahab Center, a place for women to break the chains of poverty and learn to grow and thrive in the community. Jennifer turned a horrific childhood and abusive, broken marriage into the beginnings of a program that is now helping other women to transform their lives. Her own story of transformation is inspiring. Today we’ll hear how she went from using alcohol and bad relationships to numb the pain to being in a stable marriage with two children and hope for the future.

 

 

Website: https://www.rahabcenter.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rahabcenter/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rahabcenter/

Email: contact@rahabsheart.com

 

 

(Transcript is a guide only and may not be 100% correct.)

 

Emily Olsen

Wherever there are shadows, there are people ready to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight. This is Bleeding Daylight with your host Rodney Olsen.

 

Rodney Olsen

Welcome. Don’t forget to connect with Bleeding Daylight on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

 

My guest today has turned a horrific childhood and abusive, broken marriage into the beginnings of a program that is now helping other women to transform their lives. Her own story of transformation is inspiring. Today we’ll hear how she went from using alcohol and bad relationships to numb the pain to being in a stable marriage with two children and hope for the future.

 

She’s currently writing a book about her life, but we’ll get a sneak peek at her remarkable story today.

 

Jennifer Wilcox is the Founder and Managing Director of Rahab Center, a place for women to break the chains of poverty and learn to grow and thrive in the community. The center was born out of Jennifer's personal experience, and today we'll explore some of her story. It's an honor to have her joining us on Bleeding Daylight. Jennifer, thanks for your time.

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

Well, thank you for having me today.

 

Rodney Olsen 

Before we look at the amazing work that you're doing through Rahab Center, can you take us back to your own childhood and help us understand what growing up was like for you?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

Sure. So I grew up in Louisiana here in the United States and I grew up extremely poor. We were raised on government assistance, meaning food stamps, WIC, state funded health care, all of those things and at the age of 15, I remember very vividly standing in line at the grocery store buying groceries for the family. And I had to pay with food stamps. And at that time, food stamps, were in a coupon booklet where you had to tear them out and count them out, just like you would money to the cashier. And this sense of humiliation just came over me. And at that time, I told myself, I will never live like this. I do not want my children to ever experience this. So at the young age of 15, I didn't realize what I was telling myself then but now I see why I told myself that.

 

Rodney Olsen 

And what was home life like for you?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

Well, you know, my home life was not great. I had a very abusive mother and stepfather. You know, it just, it was a lot, a lot of abuse, a lot of emotional abuse, a lot of physical abuse. And don't get me wrong, I believe in the Word of God. And I believe that children do need to be corrected and disciplined. But there is a strong difference between discipline and abuse. I went through things with my mother causing manipulation. So she would tell me one thing, and then turn around and say she never told me that, and it would end me getting in some kind of trouble with my stepfather. When I would grow up, and I would have to be disciplined, we got a leather belt across our backsides, or we got in trouble with a plastic baseball bat. And so as I grew up, my mother became very angry with me and she would do things like pull me around by my hair, or hit my head into the wall. So I didn't have the greatest childhood experience. And I have three younger brothers. So I would take the brunt of what was coming so that they did not have to experience the abuse. I never wanted them to go through that. Once I got old enough, and I left home, you know, there was no one there to shield them from that. So they took the majority of it once I left

 

Rodney Olsen 

As a child we have no frames of reference to what is normal. At what age do you think you started to understand that what was going on was not right and was not normal?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

Well, it was at the age of 14. And what happened at the age of 14 is like I said, I had no reference, like you said no money, no, no knowledge of what was normal, not normal. But I knew that if I wanted to get out of my parents' house, I needed a job, I needed to make money to be able to support myself, because I knew that it costs money to do that. So at the age of 14, I decided to take a job as a dishwasher in a restaurant, it was my very first job. And at that time, the pay was only $2 an hour, but they were paying me cash. So I took it. And I worked there for three years and decided that I was going to save enough money to get out. But that didn't happen. In my household when you worked. You were had to pay your parents and I had to pay them for driving me back and forth to work because I wasn't old enough to drive. So the majority of my check was going to them for payment to get me back and forth to my job. And then on top of that, they decided that since I had my own job, I had to support my own self meaning I had to buy my own school supplies. I had to buy my own school clothes. And I didn't have a problem with that at first. But when they were taking over 50% of what I was bringing in, that makes it a little difficult on a 14 year old child.

 

Rodney Olsen 

Now, there's never any excuse for abuse of this kind but there's generally reasons behind it. Did you ever get an indication of what was behind this for your mother and your stepfather? Were they issues in their past that caused this?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

Yes. So with my stepfather as I got older, I started to learn more about his past. He grew up in an abusive home. So that's all he knew. So he was just repeating what he knew. With my mother, the story was a little bit different. She grew up in a home that was Roman Catholic. They were very strict Roman Catholic. So my grandparents were extremely strict. I would say that they never did any abuse. I never heard of any abuse from them or any of my aunts and uncles. I think my mother, just being the youngest child, just learned how to manipulate at a very young age. And she continued to do that. And when she wasn't able to manipulate the things that she wanted, she lashed out in an abusive way.

 

Rodney Olsen 

It's very hard for a child to come to terms with the sorts of things. As you've mentioned, you're trying to save and trying to get out of home. When did that escape, so to speak, finally happened for you,

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

That finally happened at 19. Unfortunately, I thought I had met the man of my dreams at 19 and decided to marry him. But before we even got married, the emotional abuse started with him and so I jumped right out of one situation into another because what you see as a child, and you're used to you're going to repeat that cycle unless you know better. Well, I did not know that he had childhood abuse in his life. I just thought he was my knight in shining armor coming to save me. So before we were even married, the emotional abuse started. Now on our wedding day, very interesting. I had a gut feeling that I did, I just couldn't do it. I did not want to marry this man. And I went, and I told my mother that I did not want to marry him. And her exact words to me were, you're going to get that blankety dress on and you're going to walk your blank down that aisle and you are not going to embarrass me. And I was so scared of what she might do that I ended up marrying this man. And from that marriage, the abuse got very verbal and physical. And the night I decided I had had enough was the night that he put a gun to my head and pulled back the trigger and I just started praying, you know, for God to help me because I was scared. I knew I was going to die that night and I managed to get away from him. And I went back to my mom's house because that was the only thing that I knew. And I told her what had happened. And she said to me, Well, what did you do to deserve this? And right then and there. And that one moment, I knew that she did not love me that she did not care what had happened to me. So I ended up going back to him for a short period. And we separated. And then we were divorced two years later, because he refused to sign the divorce papers because he was trying to hold that control over me. So by the time I was 21, I had already been married and divorced.

 

Rodney Olsen 

It's a real time of turmoil for you and as you say, during that time, you you were just praying. Was that out of a sense of I know there's someone out there or was there some kind of faith there to fall back on at that time?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

You know, I never grew up in the church but the one thing that my mother did do, she sent us to Vacation Bible Schools because she needed a vacation from us children. So I was grateful for that, because it was a week that I could learn something new, and there was no yelling and screaming and hitting during that week. So I always looked forward to that week. So I always knew that God was there. But I didn't understand God because I didn't have that foundation to build on. I only had once a year of going to Vacation Bible School camp.

 

Rodney Olsen 

So he you are at age 21 with this wrecked marriage and abusive marriage that you've got out of. What happened then? Where do you go when you're in that sort of circumstance?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

Well, at that time, when I left him, I didn't have anything. He took all of our money and drank it away and used it for drugs. So I literally did not have but $20 in my pocket when I left him. And when I did, I didn't know what I was going to do. So I found some friends and lived with them for a little while. But unfortunately, my life took another turn. I when I left him, I had no self esteem, no self worth, I was seriously depressed because I had grown up all my life thinking that I wasn't worth anything. Nobody loved me. So I went down a road of starting to drink again. And I drank heavily. I started drinking on Wednesday night and this went through till Saturday night, I would just start drinking. And that's how I numb the pain. But that road took me down an even darker road. And that road led me to drinking to the point of passing out and I would wake up in places that I didn't know where I was, I would be in some hotel room with some man laying next to me. And I had no idea who he was or how I got there. And so this went on for several years, it was close to 10 years that this went on because I didn't know my worth. It's a very scary situation as a woman to be out there and drinking to the point of passing out and not knowing where you are or who you are with and you know it's by the grace of God that I did not end up dead.

 

Rodney Olsen 

So how did things start to turn around for you?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

Well, I actually got a job. And this job was with this lady who she really cared about me. And she said to me, Jennifer, you have to stop this. I am scared that one day I am going to get a phone call, and I am going to have to come identify you. And I said, Oh, no, no, that's never going to happen. And because at the time, I had actually decided I was going to go back to school and start my life over, I knew I needed to do something different. But I didn't know what so I decided to become a CNA, put myself through school, got a job immediately right after but the problem with that job was is that I had to be there at 6am in the morning until three in the afternoon. So I was out drinking all night, until two or three in the morning, I would land and get some sleep for an hour or two, and then go to work, which is not a good thing when you're taking care of sick people. And this lady really connected with me, and she was scared for my life. And she just kept talking to me and talking to me. And finally, one day I realized enough was enough. I could not live this way anymore. We were supposed to go to a concert that night. And she never showed up. So I gave her ticket to someone else. Well, that night when I went to that concert, I ended up meeting a gentleman who is now my husband, you know, he really didn't have a great Christian background. But I knew that I wanted something more. And so we got married, and we started going to church before we got married. And that all stemmed of I had gotten into an argument with him, because that's all I knew with people, I only knew how to fight. I didn't know how to be kind and be loving, because I was never shown that. So my way of responding was always to yell, throw things, hit things, those sort of things. Because when you grow up in that situation, and you've had it, that's all you know. So we had gotten into a verbal disagreement. And I went down to the guest bedroom and just stayed there and started crying out to God, because I knew there had to be something different. And I was tired of living this way. I was tired of living angry, I was tired of having to drink to numb the pain that I was feeling. I was tired of the hate that I felt towards everyone. So that night, I stayed down in that room, and I just cried and poured everything out to God and just asked him to please help me to forgive everyone in my past, especially my mother, because that was my biggest hurt was her. And I just cried out to him and stayed down there until I got it all out of my system. And I felt a sense of peace come over to me because when you are crying out to God, and that time of need, he's there. And he answered me, and he lifted that burden from my shoulders. And from that point, you know, it's still a work in progress every day. But from that point on, when I prayed and cried out to him, he took the wheel. And he's led my life ever since. And you know, I'm 46 years old now. And I've had a lot of barriers and obstacles put in my way. But you know, those were put there for a reason. And it's made me the woman who I am today.

 

Rodney Olsen 

You mentioned, seeking forgiveness with your mother and being able to forgive her. Was there a time when you've been able to do that and reconcile with it?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

You know, we do not have a relationship to this day. I have tried in the past. But like I said, I I went to God and I laid it at his feet, I laid it at the throne because that's what we need to do. And he really helped me through that process of forgiveness. But in that process, I wrote her a letter. And I just let everything come out. And I told her that no matter what I forgave her, and that I understood, and so I have chosen to this day not to reconcile with her because she has not made the changes that she needs. And through prayer and careful consideration. It is just not best for her to be in my life right now, especially with my children.

 

Rodney Olsen 

And what about your brothers? How's the relationship gone with them?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

I have a very close relationship with my younger brother. We are extremely close. The other two, we don't really have a relationship that is because of their choice. They have chosen some paths that are not great. And so I just love them where they're at and when they are ready to make those changes. I am here and I have told them that but myself and my younger brother we are extremely close and we have been since the day he was born.

 

Rodney Olsen 

And tell me about your family. Now. It looks very different. Obviously. Tell me about how home life is for you.

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

Well, my family is very different. I never thought I'd be on this journey that I am, like I said, I am married. And I've been married to my husband since 2007. And we actually have two young children, I have a seven year old and an eight year old. And God has blessed me with these two amazing little boys. We went through a lot of trials to be able to have children. And I was never physically able to carry a child. But God blessed me, I lost my last child in December of 2012, I was 12 weeks pregnant, and I miscarried that child. I came home from the hospital. And I just spent the day crying out to God and talking to him about it, because he knew where my heart was about wanting to be a mother. And a sense of peace came over me that I have only ever felt one other time in my life. And I just knew somehow everything was gonna be okay. Well, then the story comes to May of 2013. And I was crying to God, because I didn't want to go to church because I knew Mother's Day was coming. And I told God, please don't make me go to church and not be a mother again, you know, they're going to ask the moms to stand up. And you know how much I want to be a mother. I don't want to go and not have children. But we had already started the adoption process. But what I didn't know was that God was going to bring me my first baby on Mother's Day of 2013. I got the phone call. And I answered the phone. Sorry, I'm trying not to cry here because it just brings tears to my eyes. But he, my adoption counselor said, I have a wonderful little baby boy for you and he's 15 months old and she said, but there's a catch. And I said, oh, what's the catch? And she said, he has a baby brother that's going to be born in two weeks. And I need you to take both children. And I just felt the floor and started crying. Because you know, when God says he'll pay you back double for your troubles, he surely did. I lost a baby. That took a lot out of me. And he brought me to more. And so I am went from no children to two children in two weeks. And so it's been a little bit of a rollercoaster. But it's a good thing. Because God chose me to be there, Mama, I just didn't know that I was supposed to be their Mama until he brought them to me. So today, it's just me and my husband and our two children.

 

Rodney Olsen 

Is there still attention for you? Knowing what you came from knowing that you didn't have a good family life modeled for you in the way that you're bringing up your children?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

Yes. So you know, before I had children, I've prayed a lot to God, because I did not want to repeat the cycle that I grew up in. And honestly, that was one of my biggest fears. And God had to help me overcome that fear. And he works with me every day about it every day. With my children, there's a huge difference. I do not like to discipline my children because of what I went through. Although I am learning how to do that, and I loving and caring way. It's better than no discipline. And with my children, you know, we are very actively involved in the church community. As a matter of fact, you know, my children go to the AWANA program here. On Monday nights on Wednesday nights, we attend another church for a children's program that they have, and then on Sundays, we're back at a home church. So you know, there's a huge difference between what I grew up in and what they're growing up in. They're getting to see firsthand the love of God, and what it's like to have a mom that that serves god what it's like to have a dad that serves God, you know, so they're getting to see that aspect of it that I never got to see. And I wanted to break that generational curse that was on me, so that my children could live to be able to grow up and serve God once they become adults.

 

Rodney Olsen 

We often talk about the church as family. Are you finding that you're getting that role modeling through members of the Church of of how to be family?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

Yes, I you know, the church is a good example. And they do you are right, it is a family. And I do see that with other parents. My children are also homeschooled, which is an absolute blessing. And so I'm really close with some of the homeschool moms. And so I get to see them and how they are raising their children by you know, having them at home, homeschooling them, but also integrating God into their everyday lives. So I'm really lucky that I get it from more than just the church. I get it from the women around me that are in my circle.

 

Rodney Olsen 

This is all led to a place where you've experienced poverty, you've experienced abuse, and you've decided to make a difference for others. Tell me how that happened.

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

When I got the children, I went I went from full time working and traveling and doing what I wanted to do, to all of a sudden becoming a mom of two kids, I had a toddler and a newborn, all in two weeks. So anybody out there with children, I understand what you're going through, especially when they're that age, it came to a point where I didn't want to stay home all the time with my children. I knew there was something more out there. So I spent two days in prayer and talking to God and saying, what is it that you want me to do? Because I know there's more out there, I see the hurt, and I see the pain and I know I can be used for something now what do you want to use me for? So he showed me a vision of me helping women and teaching them the skills that they needed to overcome abuse and poverty, you know, me and my hardhead, I argued with God for a little bit over that and going, No, I'm not qualified to do that. And he said, you are qualified. Look at some of the people I've used. They weren't qualified either. But I chose them. So he chose me for this mission. So it took me two years to get it started. But I started what is called the Rahab Center. And what we do is we have women that come in that are on government assistance, and they come to our program, and they are looking to break that cycle of being on government assistance. Now, 98% of the women that we see coming through our program, are coming out of some sort of domestic violence situation, we seen very quickly that we needed to integrate some kind of trauma based healing for them to where they can heal from that trauma and be able to move forward and break that generational curse on them and their family. So everything we do at the center is biblically based, but they come into the center, and they are not a believer in God, they will see how much love we have for them. And they can see how all of my volunteers and I operate. And they soon come to know the Lord and start understanding their worth in the Lord. And that is the biggest thing to this is once a woman sees her worth and the Lord, and she knows that it doesn't matter what her family told her, or what her husband told her or whoever. But it's what God thinks of you. And when they see that that transformation that happens in them is something that's absolutely powerful. And so me adopting my children, I seen a lot of that poverty in the system of foster care. So we want to be able to help moms learn how to break those cycles, so that they're not losing their children into the foster care system.

 

Rodney Olsen 

You're talking about bringing them into the Christian faith. And we look through the Christian scriptures, and there's so many references to father. And yet so many of these women, I'm sure, have really bad experiences with their own father, how do you get them to bridge that gap to understanding that there's a difference when we talk about farther in the scripture?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

Well, you know, to bridge that gap, really, honestly, I use my own story, to show them and I get into a lot of detail with them. Because they need to know when they come in that it is not just me talking that I've actually lived this and learned that God is our True Father, he may not be our earthly father. And so that is the difference they have to understand. But he's our Heavenly Father, He created us. And if it wasn't for him, we wouldn't be here. So that's what we teach them is that there is a huge difference between what you have here on Earth, and what we have in heaven. And it doesn't matter where we came from. God still loves us enough. And he adopts us into his family. And he wants us, he cares about us enough to be concerned about what we're going through to lead these women to me, so that I can help them understand his love.

 

Rodney Olsen 

And how long has the program been running now?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

We started in 2018. So we are at our two year mark, we just passed our two year mark in August 15 of this year,

 

Rodney Olsen 

I imagine you're starting to see some of the successes that come out of that program. And I know that you wouldn't want to betray a confidence but are there some stories that you can tell us of some of the women who have been through the program and and what life is like for them now?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

The program goes up to 24 months. And the reason for that is because healing doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes it doesn't happen in 30, 60 or 90 days, like we'd like to believe it's not a quick fix. It's something that we need to take our time with and we need to do and we need to deal with all aspects of it. So some of the women that have come through and that they have left the program have been able to go out and get a job. So they're still you know, learning once you go from, I put this once you go from having nothing, no income, you're depending on someone else. And you are now making your own money that is a huge mind shift huge for these women. So because I can't break confidentiality, but I will just tell you a story of a woman who came to us and she had a degree, she had a medical degree. And she's very intelligent and very smart. She does have a job in the medical field right now. But she is still working on her healing process. She came out of an a very abusive childhood and marriage, she's a mom. And so every day for her, she's still working on that. I've had women come to me that just need help with budgeting, and how to grocery shop. And that's fine. We meet each woman where they're at in the program, we don't try to take them somewhere where they're not ready to go. We have a client that has a weight problem, she weighs 450 pounds. And where we are at with her she's been in the program for a year, she is overcoming right now, her hurdles with the weight. Because when she came out of her domestic violence situation, she got on so many drugs that the doctor had put her on, she became just like comatose, almost. And so then her way of dealing with all of that is she would eat food constantly. So we are still in the process of working with her. This is a journey for these women, this is not something like I said that happens overnight or in a time frame, we give them the time that they need to heal. Of course, being in the program, they still have to do the work. If they don't do the work, and they're not willing to show up and put the effort forth, then we release them from the program until they are ready to do the work. Because if they're not willing to take the steps to learn how to fish, then they're not ready to take the steps that they need to fully recover.

 

Rodney Olsen 

You mentioned there about the lady who's having problems with her weight, and she's on all sorts of medication. I imagine that in various cases, you would have to be working alongside other professionals such as the medical professionals in her case, is that a hurdle for you? Or are you finding ways to work alongside the other people that these ladies are encountering?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

You know, it's a great thing because when people know what these ladies are doing and that they're working with me, then what they do is we're able to bring everyone together and work together. The lady that I just was telling you about I praise God every day because she's off of those medications now. So she has a clear mind, and she's focusing. But yes, anybody that comes to us that has medical professionals, we cannot talk to anyone outside of ourselves circle until they give us permission, we hold everything we do at the strictest confidence. And I wouldn't want someone else that's working with them break their confidence. So we actually have a release form in place that these women sign and tell us who we can and who we cannot talk to.

 

Rodney Olsen 

I'm wondering if you look back to that 15 year old who was standing in the store with the food stamps, and you told her what her life would become? Can you imagine, try to get your mind around that as that 15 year old,

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

I look at that almost every day. And who would have ever known where I was at that 15 year old to where I am now. But you know, if I was that 15 year old today, I would tell that 15 year old, it's okay, just trust God, because you never know where your life's going to end up and look for mine. It took a complete 180. And so, you know, don't ever let let what you're going through now stop you. Don't ever let someone else tell you what you can and can't do. Don't ever let someone else tell you that you're not worthy, that you're not loved because you are and even if you don't feel it here from your earthly parents, there's a father in heaven that loves you more than you can even possibly understand. And when you find that person, that mentor in your life, that can help you. Stick with them. Don't give up. And I'll tell you it's some days are not easy, but it's okay. God never said we were going to be here on this earth and everything was going to be rainbows and sprinkles. We are going to have trials. But you know what he's there to pick us up during those trials. He's there to carry us through when you can understand that. That changes your whole perspective about things.

 

Rodney Olsen 

And I mentioned that there's a lot of good advice in there. For women who are listening who would ever have access to the rehab center, or even a similar center, wherever they are living, is there other advice that you would pass on to women who are finding themselves in a difficult situation but don't have access to that sort of a program.

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

My biggest advice, if they don't have access to the program that we offer is I would reach out and find someone. If you are in a domestic violence situation, and you are ready to get out of that situation. Almost everywhere you are has a domestic violence shelter, reach out to them. That is your first step. Your second step is especially. If you are in church, because these types of stories don't just happen with women that are in poverty, these situations happen to everyone. And it even happens right in our own church, and we don't realize it. If you are in one of these situations, and you are in a church, reach out, reach out to your pastor, if you don't feel comfortable talking to your pastor, then you find someone in your church that you are comfortable with that can help you through this and get you pointed in the right direction. You can't do this by yourself. I tried. That road led me down a very dangerous road with alcohol, and ending up in trouble with different men. That's not the story I want to hear from these women. Reach out, get that help. And I would suggest start praying, start praying, God will answer you, He will guide you, he will actually bring the people to you to help you. But take a step. And know that no matter what you are going through, you are worthy. God did not put you here on this earth, to be abused, to be beat down with words. That is not what God created you for. God created you to go out there and live and let his light shine through you so that you can bring other people to him. So just remember that no matter what you may feel like you are worthy and you are loved.

 

Rodney Olsen 

And maybe a few words for the many people that we hear in our society, saying that if someone is in an abusive relationship, they should just leave. We know that that's actually difficult. Why is it so difficult?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

It's very difficult, because when you're in that situation, that's not just physical abuse, it's mental abuse. So you are made to think that no one else is going to watch you. No one else is going to love you. There's a lot of things that happen in an abusive relationship that is hard to understand, especially if you have children involved in it. The women don't want to leave because they don't know how they're going to be able to support their children. And that's a scary thing. But what they need to realize is that their children are seeing what is going on, they are hearing what is going on, and they're going to repeat that cycle. If you don't have children, like I didn't have children, so it was easier for me to leave. But again, there's a lot of manipulation that happens in an abusive situation and you are made to think you're not going to find anyone else, no one's going to love you like he's gonna love you. And you're mistaken that love is not the verbal abuse or the physical abuse that is not love. There are so many things we could get into Rodney about gaslighting, and all kinds of different things that happen in abuse. But just know that if you come across a woman that is in that situation, and she comes to you, be there for her, find out what you can do to help don't enable her to stay there. Don't that means don't encourage her to stay there. help her find a way out whether that means the police have to be involved and have to remove her from the home and take her to a shelter or she has somewhere else to go that is safe. Unfortunately, most of the shelters are so full all the time that these women don't get to stay any more than two weeks at some of them. So they're there for two weeks and they have nowhere else to go. Once that two weeks is up, where are they supposed to go, they end up going back to their abuser because they don't have the support that they need. These women need support. And that brings me to the next phase of what we are doing at the rehab center. We have decided that it is time to build an actual location where these women can live. Go through the treatments that they need, go through all the training that they need to continue to break these cycles and be successful for their family. So that is what we are offering so when women here in our community come out of the domestic violence shelter They don't have to go back to their abuser, they can come to us. Now, the second thing is everything that we teach our women is on our website. So if you are out there, and you are in this cycle of poverty, and you just need some help, all you have to do is go to our website, which is rahabcenter.com, fill out the application so that I know some information about you, we will chat, and then I will get you connected with our classes so that you were able to come in and do these classes where you are at.

 

Rodney Olsen 

There's a great opportunity for women, wherever they are in the world to actually connect with you in that way and, and whilst it's not quite the same as being there, there is the opportunity to connect and to be able to be pointed in the direction of of help for them in their particular area. Obviously, this all takes a lot of money. How is the Rahab Center funded?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

Well, we are strictly funded by private donations and we do have a website. So if you do want to learn more information about that, like I said, it's rehab center.com. And they can go there and everything is right there on our website, how you can help us more information about the program. Even if you're looking as wanting to be a mentor, we're always looking for great Christian women to come alongside us and help mentor these women. And with technology these days, it's amazing what we can do and how many we can reach.

 

Rodney Olsen 

There's great opportunity for people to be involved in a variety of ways. And I'm just wondering, you've spent a lot of your life in situations where you just cannot trust people. There's that trust that is breaking down. There's that trust that has been abused and misused. And I know that you first of all, and mostly found your trust in God. But what's it like being able to, to know people around you and put trust in them? How is that for you?

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

Well, well, you know, I have been truly blessed that the women that God has brought to me that I have gotten to meet through this journey has just been absolutely incredible. So to be able to freely trust them, and learn by God's leading because he will always lead you. He will always show you when something is not right. And he has done that we've had some women come to us as volunteers that it was just not right. And he showed me and we release them from any obligations with us. But you know, when you really listen to him, that trust can be wide open and the amount of love that I have received from the women that have come around me to support me as been absolutely amazing. When you put your trust in God, he opens up doors that you didn't even see were going to open and he brings people to you that you would have never even had the chance to meet and I have been blessed 100% by each and every woman that has come around me to support me and work in this ministry. And then just watching the women that grow out of the program and watching their love, and their trust turned around to it's just a hundredfold Rodney, it really is. I wish you could see the smile on my face talking about it, but it just lights me up to see that and to be able to share that with everyone around me.

 

Rodney Olsen 

Jennifer, it's been really exciting to hear your story. To hear how change has come about to know that for your children life is going to be so much different to what it was like for you growing up. I am going to put details of the website in the show notes at bleeding taillight. dotnet. So if you've been listening and you want to get the details there, but Jennifer, thank you for being open and honest and sharing some of your stories today.

 

Jennifer Wilcox 

Well thank you, Rodney for having me. I really appreciate this opportunity and you blessing me and the ministry and the women that we're serving by this opportunity.

 

Emily Olsen

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